Are you really listening?

Executive Coaches like myself often take pride on coming up with a great question that really touches on a crucial aspect of an issue that our client is presenting to us.  Moreover, we strive to engage in a coaching conversation, using questions as our tools, to get to the heart of the issue that the client is not presenting to us or even hiding from themselves.  What may be overlooked in this regard is that the ability to intently, actively and consciously listen to what our client is saying is critically important to knowing when to ask the right question.  Only by intense listening can we be of true service to our clients and help them discover, develop and own their personal action plan.

There are similar lessons for leadership in this coach-approach to interacting with and building your teams and in getting the best results for your organization.  In today's cacophonous and demanding environment leaders can easily lose the power of effective listening.  We are constantly being bombarded by "noise" from all angles and even in our off-time we seldom disconnect from our business - checking e-mails, answering calls, and just trying to catch up with our just "finished" work day while we get ready for the sprint tomorrow.  Sure, we might make the pretense of listening to the feedback and input of others but how often have we caught ourselves multitasking while one of our peers or subordinates is speaking to us?  How often do you catch yourself scanning your e-mail or sending a text message while on the phone?  What did you really take away from that conversation?

As leaders we are impatient for action.  We feel the need to be decisive.  We rarely take the time to pause, focus and reflect.  And that often means we have little or no time to listen for critical facts or observations coming to us from the skilled staff we have surrounded ourselves with.  We have lost the ability to discern what's important from the multitude of inputs coming at us.

Our own survival mechanisms also do us no favors.  Sometimes, in order to maintain the pace we have set for ourselves we subconsciously establish an array of filters that are intended to make us more "efficient" but actually compromise our ability to see the "forest for the trees".  So before we have had the chance to evaluate information coming our way our mind has already reacted instinctually, discounted the new data on the basis of the individual speaking (e.g. that staff member is too low on the totem pole to have relevant information), context (e.g., "they" don't know enough about our business to comment), or something as simple as timing confounds us (e.g., our minds are focused on another problem that seems more pressing at the time).

Organizations are similarly at risk of omissions in listening.  We engage in strategic planning exercises, employee engagement surveys, stakeholder focus groups, and opinion polls but sometimes structure the questions or processes to get the answers we want.  More astounding is that we sometimes lack the discipline to truly hear what our constituents are telling us even when it comes out in black and white.  We can easily hear what we want to hear and look for input that reinforces our existing biases.

So at an individual leadership level how can you overcome this bias against effective listening?  Here are some suggestions:

• Disconnect from work/technology with a conscious intent.  Each of us needs some down time or reflective time.   We all need time to truly catch our breath, dedicated time to assess demands on our time, and clearly establish priorities in our business day.  It takes a huge amount of personal discipline to not just jump back on the treadmill at the crack of dawn every day.
• Find your personal way to gain or conserve energy.  You will simply not be an effective listener if you are not rested and/or energized.  Each of us will have a different way of capturing this energy from getting one more hours of sleep, to sticking to a fitness schedule, to keeping up with a personal hobby or interest.  Give your body and mind a rest or a change of pace.
• Step back and truly focus on the person in front of you.  Don't show up at a meeting or invite someone to talk to you without the conscious intent of actually listening.  Take at least five minutes to actually prepare yourself for your next meeting or conversation.  Put your last call, meeting, e-mail, whatever out of your mind before moving on to the next session.
• Show up with a curious and humble mind.  Be prepared to ask questions.  You DON'T have all the answers.  If you did you'd be running the show all on your own.  If you are running an organization of any size there are far more things going on then you have eyes or ears to keep abreast of.  Respect the insight, experience and capacity of those you work with.
• Don't interrupt.  Hold yourself back from having to have the answer.  Resist the temptation to formulate a response, rationalize a strategy, or otherwise be the expert.  Yes you are a leader and you may have come to expect that you should be decisive, but you should even more so consider yourself a facilitator with a mandate of pulling out every piece of information you can from all around you.  

Listening - effective listening - may seem like a lost art and perhaps it is.  But it's an essential leadership skill in this complex and ever changing world of ours that will likely require every ounce of discipline you have.  To listen is to lead and listening will set you apart as a leader.

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Greg Hadubiak, MHSA, FACHE, CEC, PCC
TEC Canada Chair/Executive Coach/Senior Consultant
hadubiak@wmc.ca

Helping leaders realize their strengths and enabling organizations to achieve their potential through the application of my leadership experience and coaching skills. I act as a point of leverage for my clients. I AM their Force Multiplier.