Maybe it's NOT my Responsibility

I've recently been experiencing a significant challenge in my personal life.  In truth it's something that I probably have been dealing with - in better or worse fashion - for the past ten years.  Unfortunately, it's come to a bit more of a head in the past year.  At the same time it was also vigorously pointed out to me by one of my trusted confidantes that perhaps I'm taking too much of an ownership position on this particular issue and by doing so not only am I doing great damage to myself (e.g., emotionally, psychologically, spiritually, even physically) but I'm not permitting or even demanding appropriate engagement and involvement of others in the situation - others who probably have a better chance of addressing the situation on a more permanent basis than if I come to the rescue every day.

It was a hard message to hear.  By my nature I am a problem solver, a fixer, and as soon as an issue is presented I go into fix-it mode.  I can't help myself.  In essence, I presume that by someone simply experiencing an issue or venting about a challenge it is tantamount to an invitation to come to the rescue.  You need not worry about explicitly asking for my help or input.  I'll be engaged from the moment you complete your first sentence.

This personal "ah ha" moment caused me to reflect on the number of scenarios that have been presented to me in my coaching engagements over the years.  Frequently I'm helping my clients make sure that they understand what is truly in their control and what is not.  Just as frequently, we are also working through how we can establish appropriate ownership over the issues and challenges they face on a day-to-day basis.  For most of the leaders I have worked with, they have risen to their positions precisely because they can be relied upon to get things done, to make things happen, and to solve problems.  What they discover as they rise through the ranks though is that the same tools, techniques, and behaviors that made them successful in the past can actually be very detrimental to their future success.

Adhering to an approach of "I Solve All" leads to a significant number of negative impacts for any leader.  For one, the types of issues and challenges that one faces as you move up in an organization become more complex, sensitive and time consuming.  Your ability as an individual to successfully solve these problems on your own becomes significantly more challenging - even impossible - unless you adopt new tactics.  Moreover, if you are unable to change tactics you will almost certainly find yourself incapable of dealing with multiple tasks and issues at the same time.  You simply don't have the time or physical capacity to deal with multiple issues or challenges simultaneously.  It's not to say that we don't try to make it happen.  Often we congratulate ourselves - and are congratulated by others - for giving 110% or more, working longer hours and weekends, and dragging ourselves in while sick, to achieve the impossible.  As I noted for myself in my personal challenge, this often leads to being physically worn down and/or emotionally spent.

Just as significant, on a personal level, as you become known for or cement your position as a leader who solves all problems and takes on all comers, is the fact that "success" begets more work.  Your desire to be of service and/or your inability to say no actually doesn't help you make progress.  The more problems you seemingly solve, the more likely you are to be presented with more opportunities to be of service of others.  This not only leads to the personal exhaustion and frustration noted above, it quite frankly could put your own position/career at risk.  If you are so busy solving the problems of everyone else, it might be noted that you are not effectively carrying out your own duties.

Aside from these personal impacts, many leaders also need assistance understanding how their helping/servant approach actually does a disservice to the organization and the individuals that report to them.  In the desire to be of assistance, to make quick progress on issues and move on to the next challenges, the long-term impact is that we do not enhance the capacity and capability of our subordinates to solve and hone their own problem-solving skills.  In essence we are stunting their growth and the ability of the organization to grow and be more successful.  It may seem more challenging to mentor, support and develop capacity in our subordinates in the short-term, but unless we take that time we inevitably will continue our firefighting management throughout our tenure.  Pay now or pay later never held more true.

I'm a huge believer in the servant-leadership model, but the key here is to determine and evaluate how best to serve your staff and your organization.  And it may not be by jumping at every opportunity to solve a problem.  You might just have to overcome your innate desire to help and assist.  You might just have to pause long enough to figure out what is going to be the best long-term solution to the presenting problem.  And I know I have much to learn in this regard as well - both personally and professionally.  Your role - my role - as leader is not just to solve problems but to build capacity of the team for their benefit and for the long-term benefit of your organization.

Sometimes good leadership means asking more questions and saying NO more often.  That approach is not easy but the path of strong leadership seldom is.
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Greg Hadubiak, MHSA, FACHE, CEC, PCC
TEC Canada Chair/Executive Coach/Senior Consultant
hadubiak@wmc.ca

Helping leaders realize their strengths and enabling organizations to achieve their potential through the application of my leadership experience and coaching skills. I act as a point of leverage for my clients. I AM their Force Multiplier.