Anti-Bullying Day and Your Leadership

Yesterday was anti-bullying day and to honor that effort we were tasked with wearing something pink.  I did what I could fashion-wise in wearing a pink-like dress shirt.  More importantly as I reflected on the real meaning and effort behind the day I considered my own experience of bullying - both as a child and in the workforce.  I suspect in more ways than one bullying has in a perverse way helped me define my concepts of right and wrong.  In addition, I believe it has helped establish for me this somewhat quixotic predilection to champion the cause of the underdog.

But what possible application could this day have to our workplaces or our leadership?

No doubt we are all aware of a multitude of tragic scenarios that have played out with increasing regularity in our local communities and across our respective nations - children and youth subjected to intense and sustained harassment that only gains attention or action after they have taken their own lives in a desperate attempt at escape.  Invariably as a community, as parents, as human beings we individually and collectively express shock and dismay that such a tragedy could take place.  Invariably we ask how and why could this happen, what should have been done to identify and stop the bullying, and what we should do now.  We seem particularly shocked that children could perpetrate such abuse.

I'm not sure why we are so surprised.  Judging by my own experience and that of others an undercurrent of bullying exists within our broader society and in our workplaces.  Our youth are unfortunately just modeling our own "adult" and "professional" behaviors.

I want to first point out that by starting this entry in the way I have that I in no way intend to diminish the very real tragedies that have taken place.  I do, however, believe it is useful as a starting point in highlighting the fact that we unfortunately do not leave that reality behind once we move on from elementary school.  Inadvertently or not, our leadership styles and our work cultures also tolerate, sustain, and even foster bullying.  Just as there are not, and should not be, bystanders in dealing with bullying of our youth a similar sentiment must hold true in our organizations.

There may be more than a few questions rattling around your head at this point, not least of which may be "Does bullying really exist in my organization?"  and "What does bullying even look like?"  Or perhaps like me, and others who have reached out to me, you know all too well the face of bullying from your past or current work.  My personal experiences have run the gamut - leaders abusing their secretaries and subordinates, physicians intimidating their colleagues/nursing staff/ managers, union presidents running roughshod over their members, peers targeting peers, and on and on.  The list is endless.  Perhaps we have become a little bit less tolerant of such behavior and a bit more sophisticated in our response than when I first started my career but such behavior is still far too frequent for my liking.

What does this have to do with leadership?  Everything.  First, as leaders we have to be conscious of our own potential (or reality) for being the bully.  In our roles we yield great power and with great power comes great responsibility and accountability.  By the very nature of our roles we can intimidate and by using our positional authority - throwing our weight around - we can cow others into doing what we want them to do.  As leaders we can feel fully justified in doing so - we have been given the authority, we have earned the leadership role, we have been given a mandate, my staff don't/can't see the reality like I do, I have a professional designation (e.g., MBA, MD) that gives me even more credibility, and so on and so forth.  But is this roughshod approach real leadership?  It's not many subordinates who have the courage or temerity to hold fast in a point of view that is counter to what their boss is proposing.  Even less so if the track record for being contrary includes personal criticism, opinions being denigrated, being undermined on other projects or opportunities at a later date (i.e., payback), being overlooked for promotions or raises, or even being threatened with - or experiencing - job loss.  Even less so if the bullying behavior has proceeded with impunity before. 

If we are not the bullying leader we have a role in supporting and creating a culture that doesn't tolerate such behavior.  Leaving aside the moral obligation we have as leaders to prevent and eliminate bullying in the workplace, there are some very practical and self-serving reasons to deal with bullies.  The implications to individual and organizational performance are not to be underestimated.  Many authors and researchers approach this subject matter as a workplace health and safety issue.  As it should be.  And as with a variety of workplace health and safety issues the ripple effect of a bully's actions - especially if in a leadership role - equates to any or all of lower staff productivity and effectiveness, poor customer service, increased absenteeism, lower morale, poor team work, higher employee turnover, and very real (and costly) health issues. 

Morally and ethically we are also called to act as leaders and deal with bullying behavior.  Vested with our own positional and moral authority we are called to stand up for those who can't stand up for themselves and uphold the stated values of our organizations or professions.  I'm fairly confident that no organization on record nor any professional association has as one of its tenets a commitment to fostering a culture of bullying. 

All this being said we could still likely describe recent and ongoing examples of bullying in our organizations.  So what needs to happen to really make a change? As already noted, I'm not aware of any organization or professional association that promotes bullying or abuse or harassment in any form.  Quite the contrary.  So I don't believe that we need more written codes of conduct, regulations, policies, procedures or similar written statements on the matter.  What we need is more courage and action, not more paper.  We need to be leaders and carry through with the obligations we have signed on to.  We need to not dismiss bullying behavior as an aberration or one-time event.  We need to not condone such behavior because our boss, or peer, or subordinate or member of our staff "gets results".  And our response has to be far more than providing counseling to those experiencing workplace bullying, or shifting them to other duties, or giving them paid leave to recover.  Most of these types of actions really do nothing more than blame the victim - whether that is intended or not. 

Harken back to your days in elementary school.  Think about the kids being harassed and bullied today.  The options for response can seem limited.  Often a bully will threaten further - and harsher - retribution if the victim rats them out.  Amazingly enough the victim can experience more isolation from coming forward - they will appear weak and a whiner in the eyes of the rest of their peers.  If somehow the victim does find the courage to bring the issue to an authority figure there is no guarantee that the cycle of abuse will stop. 

From what I've seen in organizations, the behaviors we adopted in school to get through are the same ones that many use to get through similar situations at work - silence, tolerance, gritting of our teeth, turn the other cheek, just trying to make it through another day of work, hoping that we won't have to encounter that leader, that peer, that professional who seems to go out of their way to bully and intimidate.  If they do get the courage to stand up to the bully, the processes we use seem to further draw out the pain and the opportunity for further abuse and retribution.  The bully gets to continue their work, they may have more "behind closed doors" opportunities to threaten, they have polished responses that amount to "he said/she said", and they may even pull out their own claims to now being themselves abused/harassed by these allegations.  The victims often despair of having raised their voice.  Their experience seems to send them a message - don't speak up, lay low, the cost is too high.  And that message is brought home not only to them but to all staff.

As leaders we must be the ones to stand up to the bullies just as we may have once done in school - head on.  There must be zero tolerance for such unprofessional behaviors.  There must be the courage to take action on the code of conducts that we have all either helped create or signed on to.  Are such efforts easy or pleasant?  Decidedly not!  But that is what our role as leaders entails.  And I speak from experience - I have been threatened by and stood up to so-called leaders, to members of my own Board of Directors, and to abusive physicians.  In too many of those cases I often stood alone.  In many of those cases I too became a subject of abuse and harassment - late night calls at home, threats of legal action, public vilification, and in-your-face "discussions".  My role as leader called me to protect those who couldn't protect themselves, who often just wanted to come to work do a good job and to have the opportunity to enjoy that work. 

Leadership is hard work and it takes courage.  As a leader you set the tone by your every action (or inaction) each day.  Do you have the courage to stand up and call out the bully that is in your work unit, that is your professional colleague, that is your peer - that is your boss?  Or are you content to let someone else pay the price for your inaction?

______________________________

Greg Hadubiak, MHSA, FACHE, CEC, PCC
President & CEO, BreakPoint Solutions
gregh@breakpoint.solutions

Helping leaders realize their strengths and enabling organizations to achieve their potential through the application of my leadership experience and coaching skills. I act as a point of leverage for my clients. I AM their Force Multiplier.