The Power - and Challenge - of Expectations

Just over a week ago my wife and I completed our first Dopey Challenge which unfortunately turned into the inaugural Grumpy.  For those of you who don't know what the Dopey Challenge is let me briefly explain.  Disney now puts on a series of races through its parks and early last year we decided that we would take on the Dopey Challenge which amounts to a 5k, 10k, half-marathon and marathon held on successive days through Disney World in Florida - the Dopey!  The reference to the Grumpy is an unfortunate note to the fact that the half marathon was cancelled on account of severe weather.

The reaction of most people when we describe this challenge is literally one of shock and awe with equal parts appreciation of the event and the training we underwent in the months leading up to the event and incredulity at even contemplating such an effort.

Their expectation is that they themselves would never undertake such an effort.  Their expectation is that they would never be capable of achieving such a feat.  And their expectation makes them right.

Those who have known me for some time could easily attest to the seeming impossibility of Greg Hadubiak circa 2007 ever running more than a few hundred yards if that, much less contemplating the image of a 200++ pound Greg running a marathon.  And while I can't say that there aren't challenges to overcome, better preparation to be done, and less pain to hopefully endure the next time, the fact is that over the last 10 years I have become a more capable athlete than at perhaps any other time in my life.  This capability has grown in direct proportion expectations of my performance.

Likewise, I can say from a professional standpoint I have developed greater capacity and capability as an executive coach and management consultant and for many of the same reasons that I have grown as an athlete.  I have engaged in my practice, have focused on my self-development and learning, have stretched my bounds, and have learned from others.  In this latter category, I have to say that I have been particularly inspired by many of my clients.  While their journey, challenges, goals and aspirations have all been different those that have been most inspiring have shown me the power of personal belief, commitment and expectation that has allowed them to dream big and realize major milestones.  For each milestone achieved they have developed an expectation of the next big opportunity.  Each obstacle, or even failure, has ultimately only been perceived as a temporary setback or learning opportunity allowing them to reach the next pinnacle of success.

What I speak of is certainly not rocket science.  A similar effect is noted in medicine with the placebo effect, in education with what we expect (or not) of learners, and in human resources in what we expect (or not) of our staff.  We often get the result we expect.  All to often as it relates to our own performance we also engage in too much negative self-talk and self-doubt.  We quit or limit ourselves before we even begin.

I can relate that when I started trying to become some sort of healthier person ten years ago I could not swim 25 metres in a pool and most definitely could not run any distance to save my life.  But my expectations of my own performance have grown as I have trained, lost weight and competed in various races.  So while I experienced a personal best marathon time this past week I also know - and believe - that more is possible.

Similarly with making a major career shift five years ago and becoming more accomplished in my new profession, I have literally reinvented myself in a number of ways .  I have established new expectations of myself, hit new goals, and realized that more is possible by preparation, practice and courage.  I know that the professional goals that I set five years ago are but the tip of the iceberg of what will and can be achieved.

So far I have related the powerful positive aspect of aspirational expectations we can have for ourselves.  However, there can and is a dark side of unrealistic expectations that we might hold for ourselves or others.  Unrealistic expectations, or uniformed expectations, can at best set us up for disappointment. At worst we can experience and impose upon ourselves significant negative emotions and physical ill health by expecting more than we or others are capable of relative to how we have prepared or have been prepared.

Keeping on the athletic bent for a moment, I'm realistic enough to know that given my advanced age, late start in life, and balance of other family and professional obligations, that winning the Boston Marathon is not in the cards.  But if that were the expectation of my performance I might at this stage be rapidly losing interest in the marathon scene, developing excuses and maybe becoming a bit angrier and depressed than was warranted.  Similarly, if I was not prepared to put in the time and effort to train to further improve my personal best time my expectations of performance would be grossly unrealistic.

I have seen similar issues at play for more than a few of my clients as well.  In many circumstances they expect to be a truly iconic leader, one who overcomes all obstacles, is the font of all perfect information and answers for their followers, and can predict all bumps along the road.  The result of this perfection expectation is relatively predictable - frustration, emotional and physical exhaustion, increasing self-doubt, and even withdrawal from their day-to-day challenges.  The biggest key I believe here is that most of this unrealistic expectation is self-imposed.  Most others who interact with my clients hold no god-like expectations of perfection or infallibility of them.  When pushed, my clients can recognize at an intellectual level the lack of realism in their expectations of self.  They would even go so far as to be able to help others with strategies to deal with their unrealistic expectations.  Unfortunately, this journey on the road to realistic and achievable expectations is more one of the heart than the head.

My conclusion to this post is that there is both power and challenge in setting the right balance for yourself in your personal expectations of self.  Your measure of where that balance lies must be in whether you are finding your expectations motivating or debilitating.  And remember, you don't have to be the sole arbiter of what is possible.  Use others as objective and supportive sounding boards as to what might be your next big achievement. 

On that note, I'll be revisiting my personal business plan to support my next level of professional development and getting back on the track to improve my performance for the 2018 Dopey Challenge.  It's all about leadership and in this case its leadership for and about yourself.

______________________________

Greg Hadubiak, MHSA, FACHE, CEC, PCC
Executive Coach/Senior Consultant
hadubiak@wmc.ca
780-401-2812

Helping leaders realize their strengths and enabling organizations to achieve their potential through the application of my leadership experience and coaching skills. I act as a point of leverage for my clients. I AM their Force Multiplier.