Exceeding Our Expectations - Is There a Recipe?

In my last post I talked about the power and challenge of our own expectations - how these expectations could be powerful motivators in some cases while at the same holding the potential to be demoralizing and debilitating if not managed against some bar of realism.  One of the questions posed to me as a result was whether in fact I possessed any recipe or model for exceeding one's expectations.  To that I offer the experience of myself and what I have also seen work with many of my coaching clients.

I believe the first element of exceeding one's expectations comes from conscious awareness and thought being put to understanding where you currently are and how satisfied you are with that state of affairs.  As with all leadership, one must start with self first, develop one's self-awareness of strengths and opportunities in order to form an understanding of where to from here.  In this I also do not believe in the artificial separation of professional life from personal life - most of us don't live to work, rather we work to live. Self-awareness and commitment to a plan must come from a holistic understanding of what is in play for us.

Consciousness

That Annoying Time Between Gaps 

Unfortunately, that is sometimes where too many of us stop.  We do develop some sense of dissatisfaction with the current state of affairs but believe ourselves unable to change the trajectory of our lives - others have expectations of us, a shift would be outside of our social norms or conventions, its too late in life to make a big change, we are fearful of the unknown or even that first big step, or we lack experience in taking what we perceive as too large a risk.  So how to next overcome those barriers?

I suggest a couple of different ways of resetting our expectations.  First consider your past.  More often than not, we have some experience in taking first steps, daunting steps at the time, that have allowed us to enjoy elements of success.  There are lessons there to reflect on.  For myself, I have had 25 years of leadership experience prior to becoming an executive coach that has provided me with a litany of learning opportunities, (hard) lessons, and affirmations of capability that I can use going forward.  The same holds true for my life experiences over 52 years.

Second, I believe we have much to learn from those around us.  What this sometimes requires though is broadening our circle of contacts and comparators.  In this regard, I have to say that my first few years outside of healthcare have been truly eye-opening.  Whether it is the benchmark set by my working colleagues or that of my clients I have come to appreciate how much more significant the world and the opportunities in it are then what my limited vision allowed me to previously appreciate.  I have both been inspired - and prodded - by the aspirations and achievements of others.  In the light of their inspiration I have often had to ask myself "Why not me too?"  Their courage and achievement has allowed me to become more aware of my own possibilities.

Self-awareness, dissatisfaction, anxiety and aspiration can only carry one so far though.  The next key ingredient, which should take a significant amount of work, is that of developing a tangible, specific and action-oriented vision of the desired future state.  As I have stated before, I believe such a vision must be informed by both professional and personal goals.  Here is where more personal courage is called upon.  For myself, I have continually developed and set stretch targets for myself since starting my new career path.  So rather than settle for re-establishing equality on the basis of what I once enjoyed as a healthcare executive why not set progressively bolder professional targets?  And match that up with more ambitious personal goals as well?  We are our own worst limiting factor.  Don't have a particular skill set you believe is required to reach the desired vision?  Invest in getting it!  Don't clearly understand the challenge or opportunity ahead?  Seek out advice.  But above all don't think small.  If your vision is clear enough and important enough you will do what it takes to succeed - and often times the significance of the barriers is only as strong as we imagine them to be.

Visions can be daunting.  Too many times I have seen friends and colleagues become discouraged as they don't reap large enough rewards soon enough to sustain them through the journey to reach their new goals.  It really is like the fate of many New Year's resolutions - gone within the month of January.  In my view the biggest reason for such failure is the lack of understanding of the length of time it takes to truly achieve something great and the need for some level of reinforcement for the effort being put in.  So success in achieving a vision comes from breaking it down into shorter term goals tied to specific actions.  Have an income target or growth objective for 2 to 5 years down the road?  What has to happen month-by-month starting now to start you moving forward?  What are the strategies that must be employed in the next quarter?  Set the small, achievable steps that allow you to evaluate progress.

Evaluation is also key.  Without monitoring of your efforts and results truly any direction will do.  It's like being back on autopilot with the added challenge that there are a host of things to distract us from our vision on a daily basis.  Evaluate the critical variables and plans on the road to your success.  When you falter - and you will - don't use that fact to berate yourself, become dejected and quit.  Rather, critically evaluate whether your strategies and actions were the right ones after all, whether you have sustained commitment to them, and whether you still wish to use those tools to reach your grand vision.  I literally evaluate my plan and status every month.  I always find that there is a least one strategy not implemented or one metric falling short of target.  Each time I must decide what my course of action should be.  However, the vision is never questioned.  The long-term goals remain valid and desirable.  I just have to overcome temporary setbacks and small bumps on the road to my next success.

On at least an annual basis this evaluation takes on a more significant tone.  What I have found is that through the constant application of the process identified above I have been consistently upping my game - I have been setting newer and bigger goals for myself because I have demonstrated to myself the ability to succeed and and exceed my previous expectations.  My possibilities are truly limited only by my own vision of what is possible.

I may not win the Boston Marathon or become Time's Person of the Year...or can I?  Maybe I have to rethink my own expectations.  I challenge you as a leader to exceed your own expectations.  It's the greatest thing you will ever do.

_________________________________________________________

Greg Hadubiak, MHSA, FACHE, CEC, PCC

President & Founder - BreakPoint Solutions

gregh@breakpoint.solutions 

www.breakpoint.solutions 

780-250-2543

Helping leaders realize their strengths and enabling organizations to achieve their potential through the application of my leadership experience and coaching skills. I act as a point of leverage for my clients. I AM their Force Multiplier.

The Power - and Challenge - of Expectations

Just over a week ago my wife and I completed our first Dopey Challenge which unfortunately turned into the inaugural Grumpy.  For those of you who don't know what the Dopey Challenge is let me briefly explain.  Disney now puts on a series of races through its parks and early last year we decided that we would take on the Dopey Challenge which amounts to a 5k, 10k, half-marathon and marathon held on successive days through Disney World in Florida - the Dopey!  The reference to the Grumpy is an unfortunate note to the fact that the half marathon was cancelled on account of severe weather.

The reaction of most people when we describe this challenge is literally one of shock and awe with equal parts appreciation of the event and the training we underwent in the months leading up to the event and incredulity at even contemplating such an effort.

Their expectation is that they themselves would never undertake such an effort.  Their expectation is that they would never be capable of achieving such a feat.  And their expectation makes them right.

Those who have known me for some time could easily attest to the seeming impossibility of Greg Hadubiak circa 2007 ever running more than a few hundred yards if that, much less contemplating the image of a 200++ pound Greg running a marathon.  And while I can't say that there aren't challenges to overcome, better preparation to be done, and less pain to hopefully endure the next time, the fact is that over the last 10 years I have become a more capable athlete than at perhaps any other time in my life.  This capability has grown in direct proportion expectations of my performance.

Likewise, I can say from a professional standpoint I have developed greater capacity and capability as an executive coach and management consultant and for many of the same reasons that I have grown as an athlete.  I have engaged in my practice, have focused on my self-development and learning, have stretched my bounds, and have learned from others.  In this latter category, I have to say that I have been particularly inspired by many of my clients.  While their journey, challenges, goals and aspirations have all been different those that have been most inspiring have shown me the power of personal belief, commitment and expectation that has allowed them to dream big and realize major milestones.  For each milestone achieved they have developed an expectation of the next big opportunity.  Each obstacle, or even failure, has ultimately only been perceived as a temporary setback or learning opportunity allowing them to reach the next pinnacle of success.

What I speak of is certainly not rocket science.  A similar effect is noted in medicine with the placebo effect, in education with what we expect (or not) of learners, and in human resources in what we expect (or not) of our staff.  We often get the result we expect.  All to often as it relates to our own performance we also engage in too much negative self-talk and self-doubt.  We quit or limit ourselves before we even begin.

I can relate that when I started trying to become some sort of healthier person ten years ago I could not swim 25 metres in a pool and most definitely could not run any distance to save my life.  But my expectations of my own performance have grown as I have trained, lost weight and competed in various races.  So while I experienced a personal best marathon time this past week I also know - and believe - that more is possible.

Similarly with making a major career shift five years ago and becoming more accomplished in my new profession, I have literally reinvented myself in a number of ways .  I have established new expectations of myself, hit new goals, and realized that more is possible by preparation, practice and courage.  I know that the professional goals that I set five years ago are but the tip of the iceberg of what will and can be achieved.

So far I have related the powerful positive aspect of aspirational expectations we can have for ourselves.  However, there can and is a dark side of unrealistic expectations that we might hold for ourselves or others.  Unrealistic expectations, or uniformed expectations, can at best set us up for disappointment. At worst we can experience and impose upon ourselves significant negative emotions and physical ill health by expecting more than we or others are capable of relative to how we have prepared or have been prepared.

Keeping on the athletic bent for a moment, I'm realistic enough to know that given my advanced age, late start in life, and balance of other family and professional obligations, that winning the Boston Marathon is not in the cards.  But if that were the expectation of my performance I might at this stage be rapidly losing interest in the marathon scene, developing excuses and maybe becoming a bit angrier and depressed than was warranted.  Similarly, if I was not prepared to put in the time and effort to train to further improve my personal best time my expectations of performance would be grossly unrealistic.

I have seen similar issues at play for more than a few of my clients as well.  In many circumstances they expect to be a truly iconic leader, one who overcomes all obstacles, is the font of all perfect information and answers for their followers, and can predict all bumps along the road.  The result of this perfection expectation is relatively predictable - frustration, emotional and physical exhaustion, increasing self-doubt, and even withdrawal from their day-to-day challenges.  The biggest key I believe here is that most of this unrealistic expectation is self-imposed.  Most others who interact with my clients hold no god-like expectations of perfection or infallibility of them.  When pushed, my clients can recognize at an intellectual level the lack of realism in their expectations of self.  They would even go so far as to be able to help others with strategies to deal with their unrealistic expectations.  Unfortunately, this journey on the road to realistic and achievable expectations is more one of the heart than the head.

My conclusion to this post is that there is both power and challenge in setting the right balance for yourself in your personal expectations of self.  Your measure of where that balance lies must be in whether you are finding your expectations motivating or debilitating.  And remember, you don't have to be the sole arbiter of what is possible.  Use others as objective and supportive sounding boards as to what might be your next big achievement. 

On that note, I'll be revisiting my personal business plan to support my next level of professional development and getting back on the track to improve my performance for the 2018 Dopey Challenge.  It's all about leadership and in this case its leadership for and about yourself.

______________________________

Greg Hadubiak, MHSA, FACHE, CEC, PCC
Executive Coach/Senior Consultant
hadubiak@wmc.ca
780-401-2812

Helping leaders realize their strengths and enabling organizations to achieve their potential through the application of my leadership experience and coaching skills. I act as a point of leverage for my clients. I AM their Force Multiplier.

Facing YOUR Demons

Growing up I had my fair share of fears as I suspect most kids do.  In particular, I somehow learned to fear the dark and more particularly all the evil creatures that might be lurking under the bed, in my closet or just outside the window.  Every noise and small movement of shadow seem to be amplified, the precursor to my impending doom.  Several decades removed from those childish fears I still find myself somewhat anxious at the thought of a night out with my telescope observing the heavens.

The reality is, however, that in my youth those monsters were quite real.  And in truth it was only over time and not through any particular parental logic that there were overcome.  I profess to still having some fear of the dark but more often it is borne out of knowledge of what is really out there - farm dogs who might perceive me as a threat; skunks, coyotes or other wild animals; and other humans who might have less astronomical things on their minds.  My fears are more grounded in reality these days but yet they don't hold me back from pursuing one of my personal passions.  So what gets me out there in the middle of the night regardless of perceived or real ghosts?  In this case, it is the opportunity to gaze upon celestial wonders of far flung galaxies, nebulae and the rings of Saturn. In some bizarre and metaphorical sense I am driven to face my fears by a higher purpose.  Pun intended.

As an executive coach - and a leader/entrepreneur in my own right - I experience and realize that I can be subject to a number of different fears.  Most of these come down to self-doubt and the courage to take on new and different challenges in my career and business.  And I see similar behavior in many of the clients that I work with.  The mythical monsters that have lived in the closets or just outside our windows in our youth now stalk the halls and alleys of our hearts, souls and minds.  These monsters and ghosts are some of the most insidious we will ever face.  They know us well and play upon and magnify our weaknesses, insecurities, and doubts.  Left unchallenged, they grow in strength and hold us paralyzed with fear striving to ensure that we never take that next step forward.

These ghosts just don't operate purely or even mostly on horror and shock value.  Rather, they are more cunning and possessed of a powerful voice, constantly talk us out of taking that next bold step into the future.  They are the voice that suggests that we really aren't qualified to apply for a new position.  They help us procrastinate and rationalize to the point where even if we were to apply to take on the next big challenge we would show up with the belief we didn't belong.  We display our anxiety to the point that those who are in the position of deciding our fate (e.g., the hiring decision) or supporting our next big step recognize our lack of confidence and make the non-supportive decision we have been expecting all along.  We become our own self-fulfilling prophecy.

But like conquering our own childhood fears success in facing our more mature fears is possible.  My success and that of my coaching clients is proof of that.  In my first year away from an executive role and into my new venture I probably had more sleepless nights - and self-talk - than I'd had in the previous ten years.  What made this the right move?  Was my business plan just wishful thinking?  What made me think that my marketing efforts were the right ones? And so on and so forth.  I could say that it was a powerful vision of my ultimate success that kept me going but that would be too easy a way to rewrite history.  Truth be told, I was probably just too proud and stubborn to give in.  But I did ultimately face and conquer (most of) my fears.  I often did so with the encouragement, support, inspiration and examples of others.

In similar fashion I have been inspired by the courage that many of my coaching clients have ultimately demonstrated as they struggled with realizing their potential, seeking out new opportunities, and taking on new challenges.  We have helped them face their fears, challenge their self-limiting beliefs and powerfully own their strengths.  A quote from one of my coaching colleagues comes to mind in this regard - "Your mind is a dangerous neighborhood to go into alone."  So together, we have walked the dark halls and alleys of their mind, challenging assumptions, taking small steps, all in service of a grander vision of what is possible for them.  To realize their potential and open up new vistas that they had not even imagined.

The fears and doubt never truly go away.  I still fear the dark, I still fear swimming in open water, and I still fear that business success enjoyed today is fleeting.  Even as my clients enjoy their current success (e.g., new job, award, raise, promotion) they still wonder how they will maintain or build upon that success.  Our fears and doubts won't go quietly into the night.  But perhaps rather than paralyzing us they can serve a more useful function of keeping us sharp and helping us prepare for potential (and reality-based) setbacks.

Keeping a higher purpose in front of us - the celestial heavens, the triathlon finish line, a successful and fulfilling career - is a foundation by which we can keep moving one step ahead developing our own level of reassurance that our fears are often overblown.  We can choose to live in fear or live in purpose.  We can look back on our past successes as harbingers of bigger things to come.  We can believe in our strengths and in our capacity to become stronger.  We can ultimately build the confidence and courage to overcome what is holding us back from our yet to be imagined potential.

Choose to face your ghosts, get off your (metaphorical bed), and shine a flashlight into the dark spaces.  What you don't find there might amaze you and lighten your load.

Exorcise your ghosts - own the night.

______________________________

Greg Hadubiak, MHSA, FACHE, CEC, PCC
Executive Coach/Senior Consultant
hadubiak@wmc.ca
780-401-2812

Helping leaders realize their strengths and enabling organizations to achieve their potential through the application of my leadership experience and coaching skills. I act as a point of leverage for my clients. I AM their Force Multiplier.

Leadership Failures??

As I write this post the second in the US Presidential debates between Hilary Clinton and Donald Trump is has just been completed.  We are a month away from the US deciding the respective fates of these two candidates and perhaps of a whole system of international relationships at this critical point in history.  While I've not watched any of the debates, I nevertheless find myself distracted by the frantic activity hitting my twitter account as updates come fast and furious.  In many ways, the experience is like passing by a car accident - while I'm not directly involved in any way I can't help slowing down to watch the scene. 

I've also been struggling to figure out and make sense of the Trump experience.  I consider myself a rational and logical human being and find myself astounded at how long and how successful this political run has been.  Similarly, as I've been lecturing at Concordia University of Edmonton to my leadership class I've struggled to explain the reason for Trump's success thus far - or the failure of the US political system to exorcise this challenge long before now.  There probably was no more telling commentary on the quality of this particular political race than the main subject and focus of the most recent Presidential debate being about who carried more sexual baggage.  Substantive and focused discussions on the significant issues facing the US and the world played second fiddle. 

So how to explain this from a leadership perspective?  At the same time I couldn't help but believe that there were complementary lessons to be gleaned from other world events where the electorate of other countries seemingly made uninformed, under-informed or nonsensical decisions - at least from my perspective.  How to explain Brexit?  How to explain Columbia voting against a peace deal in its decades long civil war? 

As I struggled to dissect these scenarios and possibly put pen to paper to expound my thoughts I fortuitously came across the article below which comes from Psychology Today and was published about a month ago.  I found its insights intriguing and I hope it helps you consider and put into perspective the leadership challenges noted above.  More importantly, and perhaps a subject of further thought in another blog, what might this mean for your particular leadership challenges?

Bobby Azarian, Ph.D.

The Psychology Behind Donald Trump's Unwavering Support

Research explains why Donald Trump maintains support despite shocking behavior.

Posted Sep 13, 2016 

There’s no doubt that Donald Trump has said many things that would have been political suicide for any other Republican candidate. And almost every time he made one of these shocking statements, political analysts on both the left and the right predicted that he’d lose supporters because of it. But as we have clearly seen over the past year, they were dead wrong every time. Trump appears to be almost totally bulletproof.  

The only thing that might be more perplexing than the psychology of Donald Trump is the psychology of his supporters. In their eyes, The Donald can do no wrong. Even Trump himself seems to be astonished by this phenomenon. "I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody, and I wouldn't lose any voters, OK? It's, like, incredible."

Senator John McCain, who has been a regular target for Trump during his campaign, has a simple explanation for his unwavering support. “What he did was he fired up the crazies.”

While the former Republican presidential nominee may be on to something, he doesn’t exactly provide a very satisfying scientific explanation.  So how exactly are Trump loyalists psychologically or neurologically different from everyone else? What is going on in their brains that makes them so blindly devoted?

1. The Dunning-Kruger Effect

Some believe that many of those who support Donald Trump do so because of ignorance — basically they are under-informed or misinformed about the issues at hand. When Trump tells them that crime is skyrocketing in the United States, or that the economy is the worst it’s ever been, they simply take his word for it.

The seemingly obvious solution would be to try to reach those people through political ads, expert opinions, and logical arguments that educate with facts. Except none of those things seem to be swaying any Trump supporters from his side, despite great efforts to deliver this information to them directly.

The Dunning-Kruger effect explains that the problem isn’t just that they are misinformed; it’s that they are completely unaware that they are misinformed. This creates a double burden.  Studies have shown that people who lack expertise in some area of knowledge often have a cognitive bias that prevents them from realizing that they lack expertise. As psychologist David Dunning puts it in an op-ed for Politico, “The knowledge and intelligence that are required to be good at a task are often the same qualities needed to recognize that one is not good at that task — and if one lacks such knowledge and intelligence, one remains ignorant that one is not good at the task. This includes political judgment.” Essentially, they’re not smart enough to realize they’re dumb.

And if one is under the illusion that they have sufficient or even superior knowledge, then they have no reason to defer to anyone else’s judgment. This helps explain why even nonpartisan experts — like military generals and Independent former Mayor of New York/billionaire CEO Michael Bloomberg — as well as some respected Republican politicians, don’t seem to be able to say anything that can change the minds of loyal Trump followers.

Out of immense frustration, some of us may feel the urge to shake a Trump supporter and say, “Hey! Don’t you realize that he’s an idiot?!” No. They don’t. That may be hard to fathom, but that’s the nature of the Dunning-Kruger effect — one’s ignorance is completely invisible to them.

2. Hypersensitivity to Threat

Science has unequivocally shown that the conservative brain has an exaggerated fear response when faced with stimuli that may be perceived as threatening. A 2008 study in the journal Science found that conservatives have a stronger physiological reaction to startling noises and graphic images compared to liberals. A brain-imaging study published in Current Biology revealed that those who lean right politically tend to have a larger amygdala — a structure that is electrically active during states of fear and anxiety. And a 2014 fMRI study found that it is possible to predict whether someone is a liberal or conservative simply by looking at their brain activity while they view threatening or disgusting images, such as mutilated bodies. Specifically, the brains of self-identified conservatives generated more activity overall in response to the disturbing images.

So how does this help explain the unbridled loyalty of Trump supporters? These brain responses are automatic, and not influenced by logic or reason. As long as Trump continues his fear mongering by constantly portraying Muslims and Mexican immigrants as imminent dangers, many conservative brains will involuntarily light up like light bulbs being controlled by a switch. Fear keeps his followers energized and focused on safety. And when you think you’ve found your protector, you become less concerned with remarks that would normally be seen as highly offensive.   

3.  Terror Management Theory

A well-supported theory from social psychology, called Terror Management Theory, explains why Trump’s fear mongering is doubly effective.

The theory is based on the fact that humans have a unique awareness of their own mortality. The inevitably of one’s death creates existential terror and anxiety that is always residing below the surface. In order to manage this terror, humans adopt cultural worldviews — like religions, political ideologies, and national identities — that act as a buffer by instilling life with meaning and value.

Terror Management Theory predicts that when people are reminded of their own mortality, which happens with fear mongering, they will more strongly defend those who share their worldviews and national or ethnic identity, and act out more aggressively towards those who do not. Hundreds of studies have confirmed this hypothesis, and some have specifically shown that triggering thoughts of death tends to shift people towards the right.

Not only do death reminders increase nationalism, they influence actual voting habits in favor of more conservative presidential candidates. And more disturbingly, in a study with American students, scientists found that making mortality salient increased support for extreme military interventions by American forces that could kill thousands of civilians overseas. Interestingly, the effect was present only in conservatives, which can likely be attributed to their heightened fear response.

By constantly emphasizing existential threat, Trump creates a psychological condition that makes the brain respond positively rather than negatively to bigoted statements and divisive rhetoric. Liberals and Independents who have been puzzled over why Trump hasn’t lost supporters after such highly offensive comments need look no further than Terror Management Theory.

4. High Attentional Engagement

According to a recent study that monitored brain activity while participants watched 40 minutes of political ads and debate clips from the presidential candidates, Donald Trump is unique in his ability to keep the brain engaged. While Hillary Clinton could only hold attention for so long, Trump kept both attention and emotional arousal high throughout the viewing session. This pattern of activity was seen even when Trump made remarks that individuals didn’t necessarily agree with. His showmanship and simple messages clearly resonate at a visceral level.  

Essentially, the loyalty of Trump supporters may in part be explained by America’s addiction with entertainment and reality TV. To some, it doesn’t matter what Trump actually says because he’s so amusing to watch. With Donald, you are always left wondering what outrageous thing he is going to say or do next. He keeps us on the edge of our seat, and for that reason, some Trump supporters will forgive anything he says. They are happy as long as they are kept entertained.  

Of course these explanations do not apply to all Trump supporters. In fact, some are likely intelligent people who know better, but are supporting Trump to be rebellious or to introduce chaos into the system. They may have such distaste for the establishment and Hillary Clinton that their vote for Trump is a symbolic middle finger directed at Washington.

So what can we do to potentially change the minds of Trump loyalists before voting day in November? As a cognitive neuroscientist, it grieves me to say that there may be nothing we can do. The overwhelming majority of these people may be beyond reach, at least in the short term. The best we can do is to motivate everyone else to get out to the booths and check the box that doesn’t belong to a narcissistic nationalist who has the potential to damage the nation beyond repair. 

This article was originally published at Raw Story.